Days 25 and 26

Day 26

WELCOME TO SIMS 2 OPEN FOR BUSINESS!

OPEN FOR BUSINESS!@

If it's one thing that's always somewhat creeped me out about post-expansion installs, it's the way the Sims are just standing there bolt upright at attention, like some sort of creepy Twilight Zone / Stepford Wives shit.
It's probably credit to how close to realistic they behave, that things that point out the reality of their UNreality actually make them the most surreal.

CREEPY

CREEPY

Every time I install an expansion, I lose my Jesus paintings and they get replaced with untextured curtains

Another interesting thing about an expansion upgrade, is that all my Sims needs are nearly set to full. Nothing quite like starting off on a positive note.

Well. Except for the front lawn.

Time to renovate.

I put a giant ninja in the back yard. Just because.

This is a crappy night shot of the outside of the love shack I just fashioned.

BOYS ONLY NO GIRLS WITH COOTIES AND STINKY GOOHOLES

All that's left is to figure out how to whore out Etcha.

And here are the toy and robot workbenches. There was also a 3rd, floral arrangement workbench to buy but since in my free time I don't needlepoint or fart unicorns or piss a lovely palmeria-scented diffuser oil, I abstained from buying that one.

CREEPY

The fish vanished, but the god damn algae didn't.

Ok, enough of this; let's turn on the clock.

Otik and Ripley get right into it and jam.

WHAM

I couldn't wait. Rathen walked up to the robot workbench, and 'What is this?'d at it like four fucking times so I MADE him make a fucking robot.

This goes on for about 3 minutes. He beats on that metal cube or stabs it with a screwdriver over and over.
Just like the last time I made a robot, as I recall. Wow, how eerily realistic!

TADA!

Soulfucker is born!
Be free, Soulfucker! Ah... be free to just sit there. He's just a stupid, inert toy.

Rathen comes to play with it.

A Hitler impersonater giggling at a wind-up silver age toy robot. Wonders never cease.

Also, did anyone else catch Supernatural this week? I just noticed a startling resemblance of that simolean symbol to that cult symbol of hot-girl-mangling evil.

And, after giggling at the robot for a minute or two, that was it.
Hooray for Soulfucker.

Finally, someone else peers through the Rape-o-Scope.

Uh...

Oh shit.

...

AAAAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Everyone is freaking out up on the porch.

Oh, now, that's just fucked up.

Everyone else freaks out, all WHY GOD WHY! and Ripley keeps on stifling outright laughter for about a minute.

Then, the homos start making out, the reality that all their lives are pretty fucked up and gay anyways reasserts, and they all go back to regular life.

EtchaSketch plugs the diesel queen for makeup tips.

I came into this one late, so I have no fucking idea what's going on here.

"So. How about your woman fucking every other guy in Appleton eh?"
"Ok, how about you still being a virgin?"

"I have this sense that I'm going to be holding hands with guys soon."

"...and I just got this marvelous idea how to turn it into a job..."

The rape victim is dumped home.

'Unceremonious' is a great, fitting word that comes to mind.

Neat, mirrors are reflective now!

Oh, damn, Death Toilet the 3rd has been cleansed by the holy fires of the update.

No rest for the anally probed. GIIRyudo heads for work.

Everyone else did also. All at the same time, leaving Rathen and Otik home alone.

I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!

It stopped being exciting right here for a number of Sim hours.

So, I quit for the night, and went to bed. I was thinking about just cutting a half-update here, and I fucking well should've. Oh well, hindsight and all that.

Here's a shot of the family's house from the neighborhood view.
I like how it's all this quaint sub-mansion classy set up then you got a giant ninja in the back yard and a shack emanating a sinister red glow. That's pretty... something.

This is how my grandparent's place would look if they let me run the place.

Ripley got home from school, and had brought a friend home with her. This friend stepped off the bus... and walked off the lot. OKAY

So Ripley went to her routine spot and made with the homework.

Oh hey look everybody it's TV's Bill Cosby!

Get the fuck off my property.

Everybody got home ok this time without a giant god damn traffic jam.

ObMeiste brought home a friend,

...and so did GIIRyudo.

I believe GIIRyudo wins. He should get raped by aliens more often; it seems to help his taste in women.

Let's have another look at Ob's friend shall we?

TOTAL FAGGOT.
Here's a black dude wearing blue contacs, a failed bleachjob combed over and straightened gothmop, visiting home with the team all-star cornholers.

No matter how menial and devoid of content, it is my solemn duty to record and display every single instance of spongebathing, and emphasize the fact that there are in fact baths and a shower stall free.

I hope this meets the stringent minimum sodomy requirements imposed by my thread's demanding, beleaguered audience.

Etcha passes through either oblivious or apathetic to the jock jerking buttsexfest happening within olfactory distance.

I only said 'olfactory' because I mean look at all the 'dust' kicking off of that, and my god is that blood?

It must smell like the sewer under a gay bar in there I mean seriously.

This here is a moment where all I can think of is, 'suffer, you little bitch.' He's all doing the peepee dance and waving at me like I'm going to do something about it but refusing to piss because EtchaSketch is in the shower and won't shoo away.
This is an odd moment for be, because as an atheist, I can see a very pointed analogy here to real life that makes me understand the drive a New Testament variety god would have, at being hands off with humanity. All I can see in my head now is a Douglas Adams/Terry Pratchett-esque scene involving an ancient, venerable old man in a robe and a long, white beard spending the last 20,000 years sitting around with a bemused look on his face saying to himself, 'you guys cannot possibly be this fucking stupid.'

OH LAME. Etcha left before Rathen could soil himself. And I so wanted to screencap it.

Who the fuck is this guy
edit: Here we are 13 hours after I did the update and I noticed this random jerk is wearing capris.
Capris. Sulu, set phasers for GAY.

Rathen is fucking worthless and begs me to tell him to go to bed.

GIIR's cowgirl is useful and actually cleans up a couple books and puts away the game controllers.

Here is another weird phenomenon, post-patch. All books that were out before I patched are now standing upright on their binders.

I seem to remember this guy being fat when we started out.

Hey it's like my own private episode of Will & Grace except less bloated with every single cheap gay joke you could imagine some lukewarm, mediochre Hollywood trendy mentality thinking up while in line at Starbucks.


Introduction Days 01+02 Dramabombs1 Dramabombs2 Days 03+04 Days 05+06 Days 07+08 Permabans Days 09+10 Days 11+12 Days 13+14 Days 15+16 Days 17+18 Days 19+20 Days 21+22 Days 23+24 Days 25+26 Days 27+28 Days 29+30 Days 31+32 Days 33+34
	Day 25 ObMeiste approves, and demonstrates it monetarily. He then did this for all the jars. The fireman at that point collected his earnings and left. Rathen took up the fireman's spot on the drums, Ripley gained a point of creativity and just as she was actually melding with the rest of the ad hoc band, she went to bed. Ok, whatever the fuck this broken thing is, it's still here. Things are breaking left and right in this god damn house and they only just moved in. Ob however's on the job. Ladies and gentlemen I introduce you to Death Toilet the 4th. KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! Once her tantrum was finished however she jammed out with Etcha. Oddly, I found myself wishing for a way to modify the music they played to include the Mos Eisley spaceport cantina music. Ok so the sun's up and I decided to have a look around at the yard. Mother of FUCK. Otik and Rathen join the jam... And check out the freestyle fancy shit Otik pulls off. Otik and Rathen were both starved at this point. This would cause them to stop playing as soon as they started, then put the instrument down. Then, they'd forget they were hungry and pick it back up. Then, they'd get angry thoughtbubbles about being hungry, and put down the instrument. Then, just pick it back up. Eventually Otik told Rathen a dirty joke, and at that point I discovered why they were not making food. As if one thing had anything to do with the other. But whatever, the refridgerator was empty. Attn: Toiletduk. This is a carpool fuck up. 3 guys all coming home from work at the same hour, one in the fagmobile, the other two in the Aryan Nation Charter. They get locked like this for hours. Nobody gets out of the bus, and GIIR just beeps in futility. Etcha managed to leave for work by getting into the other car and... it dematerialized. Oh, fuck. I think the end is nigh for this house. See, that's a pizza delivery in front of the delivery truck. The delivery truck guy won't get out because the pizza girl's in the way, and the pizza girl won't get her pizza delivered because the delivery truck is up her Gremlin's ass. Who the hell is this broad and why is Ripley half-clipping through the bathroom door and wall? You know what this is right here? It's Otik, rummaging through the trash and eating out of it. That's what that is. If this four-car street constipation continues, everyone is going to starve to death, lose their jobs and this house is going to spiral into a miserable little holocaust. Sounds kind of exciting, sort of. Etcha suddenly materializes in the garage. I 'chose wisely' as it were on one of those pop-up dilemma dialogues, and got him promoted. He has brought home a friend. I think it's Keisha Knight-Pulliam from the Cosby Show all growed up. This event I think triggered the sudden materialization of GIIR in the garage too. He promptly falls asleep standing up next to the queersled. The all-stars are freed. What the fuck on earth was stopping them before anyways? And once the bus left... The delivery van un-fucked up! Yay! Pizza... now I am hungry. And we finish today with burgers, and joy.	Day 26 WELCOME TO SIMS 2 OPEN FOR BUSINESS! OPEN FOR BUSINESS!@ If it's one thing that's always somewhat creeped me out about post-expansion installs, it's the way the Sims are just standing there bolt upright at attention, like some sort of creepy Twilight Zone / Stepford Wives shit. It's probably credit to how close to realistic they behave, that things that point out the reality of their UNreality actually make them the most surreal. CREEPY CREEPY Every time I install an expansion, I lose my Jesus paintings and they get replaced with untextured curtains Another interesting thing about an expansion upgrade, is that all my Sims needs are nearly set to full. Nothing quite like starting off on a positive note. Well. Except for the front lawn. Time to renovate. I put a giant ninja in the back yard. Just because. This is a crappy night shot of the outside of the love shack I just fashioned. BOYS ONLY NO GIRLS WITH COOTIES AND STINKY GOOHOLES All that's left is to figure out how to whore out Etcha. And here are the toy and robot workbenches. There was also a 3rd, floral arrangement workbench to buy but since in my free time I don't needlepoint or fart unicorns or piss a lovely palmeria-scented diffuser oil, I abstained from buying that one. CREEPY The fish vanished, but the god damn algae didn't. Ok, enough of this; let's turn on the clock. Otik and Ripley get right into it and jam. WHAM I couldn't wait. Rathen walked up to the robot workbench, and 'What is this?'d at it like four fucking times so I MADE him make a fucking robot. This goes on for about 3 minutes. He beats on that metal cube or stabs it with a screwdriver over and over. Just like the last time I made a robot, as I recall. Wow, how eerily realistic! TADA! Soulfucker is born! Be free, Soulfucker! Ah... be free to just sit there. He's just a stupid, inert toy. Rathen comes to play with it. A Hitler impersonater giggling at a wind-up silver age toy robot. Wonders never cease. Also, did anyone else catch Supernatural this week? I just noticed a startling resemblance of that simolean symbol to that cult symbol of hot-girl-mangling evil. And, after giggling at the robot for a minute or two, that was it. Hooray for Soulfucker. Finally, someone else peers through the Rape-o-Scope. Uh... Oh shit. ... AAAAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA! Everyone is freaking out up on the porch. Oh, now, that's just fucked up. Everyone else freaks out, all WHY GOD WHY! and Ripley keeps on stifling outright laughter for about a minute. Then, the homos start making out, the reality that all their lives are pretty fucked up and gay anyways reasserts, and they all go back to regular life. EtchaSketch plugs the diesel queen for makeup tips. I came into this one late, so I have no fucking idea what's going on here. "So. How about your woman fucking every other guy in Appleton eh?" "Ok, how about you still being a virgin?" "I have this sense that I'm going to be holding hands with guys soon." "...and I just got this marvelous idea how to turn it into a job..." The rape victim is dumped home. 'Unceremonious' is a great, fitting word that comes to mind. Neat, mirrors are reflective now! Oh, damn, Death Toilet the 3rd has been cleansed by the holy fires of the update. No rest for the anally probed. GIIRyudo heads for work. Everyone else did also. All at the same time, leaving Rathen and Otik home alone. I BELIEVE I CAN FLY! It stopped being exciting right here for a number of Sim hours. So, I quit for the night, and went to bed. I was thinking about just cutting a half-update here, and I fucking well should've. Oh well, hindsight and all that. Here's a shot of the family's house from the neighborhood view. I like how it's all this quaint sub-mansion classy set up then you got a giant ninja in the back yard and a shack emanating a sinister red glow. That's pretty... something. This is how my grandparent's place would look if they let me run the place. Ripley got home from school, and had brought a friend home with her. This friend stepped off the bus... and walked off the lot. OKAY So Ripley went to her routine spot and made with the homework. Oh hey look everybody it's TV's Bill Cosby! Get the fuck off my property. Everybody got home ok this time without a giant god damn traffic jam. ObMeiste brought home a friend, ...and so did GIIRyudo. I believe GIIRyudo wins. He should get raped by aliens more often; it seems to help his taste in women. Let's have another look at Ob's friend shall we? TOTAL FAGGOT. Here's a black dude wearing blue contacs, a failed bleachjob combed over and straightened gothmop, visiting home with the team all-star cornholers. No matter how menial and devoid of content, it is my solemn duty to record and display every single instance of spongebathing, and emphasize the fact that there are in fact baths and a shower stall free. I hope this meets the stringent minimum sodomy requirements imposed by my thread's demanding, beleaguered audience. Etcha passes through either oblivious or apathetic to the jock jerking buttsexfest happening within olfactory distance. I only said 'olfactory' because I mean look at all the 'dust' kicking off of that, and my god is that blood? It must smell like the sewer under a gay bar in there I mean seriously. This here is a moment where all I can think of is, 'suffer, you little bitch.' He's all doing the peepee dance and waving at me like I'm going to do something about it but refusing to piss because EtchaSketch is in the shower and won't shoo away. This is an odd moment for be, because as an atheist, I can see a very pointed analogy here to real life that makes me understand the drive a New Testament variety god would have, at being hands off with humanity. All I can see in my head now is a Douglas Adams/Terry Pratchett-esque scene involving an ancient, venerable old man in a robe and a long, white beard spending the last 20,000 years sitting around with a bemused look on his face saying to himself, 'you guys cannot possibly be this fucking stupid.' OH LAME. Etcha left before Rathen could soil himself. And I so wanted to screencap it. Who the fuck is this guy edit: Here we are 13 hours after I did the update and I noticed this random jerk is wearing capris. Capris. Sulu, set phasers for GAY. Rathen is fucking worthless and begs me to tell him to go to bed. GIIR's cowgirl is useful and actually cleans up a couple books and puts away the game controllers. Here is another weird phenomenon, post-patch. All books that were out before I patched are now standing upright on their binders. I seem to remember this guy being fat when we started out. Hey it's like my own private episode of Will & Grace except less bloated with every single cheap gay joke you could imagine some lukewarm, mediochre Hollywood trendy mentality thinking up while in line at Starbucks.

Day 25

Day 26